and i looked up. we had an audience...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
