hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
