So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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