just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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