it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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