thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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