Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
