So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
