does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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