Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
