i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
third nipple confirmed
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
