Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize