Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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