Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
