So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
