no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My ass is underappreciated
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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