i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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