I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm gonna fight the coyote
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize