We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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