Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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