I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
