FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
