Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
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We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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