Swine flu. Run for my life!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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