lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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