no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She even gives head with a lisp.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
