her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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