normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
