I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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