shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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