I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
