I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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