So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"