im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship