I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to