Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
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I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.