And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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