I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
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I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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