return my video game
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
