yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
God, I missed his penis.
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