Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Everything about him screamed your future.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
