i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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