with your own penis?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
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beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
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The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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