i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's no shave November. This is our time.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
