frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
