the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
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I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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