ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Even my vagina gasped.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
