I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
