I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
