Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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