Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
