He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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