Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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