why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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