batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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