apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
