When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
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I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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