WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
