Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Cover your peen. We're going out.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
