Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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