you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
