i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
