At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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