just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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