i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm jealous of your bromance
please come you make the beer taste better
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize